Deep thoughts..
Extremely mixed feelings..
wats worse?
especially these are factors..
tat are all against you..
money issues..
For goodness sake..
u all still need to feed me lehz..
I am a teenager..
Dun wan to gimme pocketmoney?
$10 too much for a day?
ok.. fine..
wat to do?
I dun live in a flirty rich mansion..
the final decision..
Made quarrels lesser..
Angry faces lesser..
Late into the wee hours discussions..
over TRIVIAL matters such as money..
Decided that i should live wif my own hard earn money..
No more Pocket money..
Use my own cash..
Damn clever decision for a short term..
Prevent more quarrels..
But toopid, retarded decision for the long run..
how am i going to save like thousands for my future?
How to buy house?
How to buy car?
Cashless?
Damn it..
Why am i going to the extend of doing tis?
I can jolly well dun care..
Let the quarrels carry on..
Continue to take pocket money..
All i wan is a nice home tat i go home to..
Smiles..
No angry faces..
sulking faces..
Was watching reality tv shows..
America's got talent..
Those people were awesome..
All have DREAMS that you can never imagine..
But like i have said..
Dreams, passion.. is all just fantasy..
Subreal..
so fake..
You cannot have food on ur table with dreams..
Being Realistic..
Is being more active..
MATERIALISTIC..
dreams are such fantastic things to talk about..
But i guess..
i couldn't even think of one now..
Freaking sad..
Parents stand in the crowd..
Watching their child on the stage..
Spotlights on their child..
bring the whole place down..
Pushing the level all the way to the max..
Feeling proud of their child..
Standing up to applause..
Telling people tat..
"Tat is my son.."
How i long for tat..
wat have i done so far to make you all proud?
I dun think so..
Seems nothing at all..
So depressing..
I maybe wouldn't have the chance to hear the phrase..
" Son, i am proud of you.."
Work is like..
Damn bad..
Fighting against worse of the worse situations..
A boss which have mood swings..
Only scolds you for everything tat have gone wrong..
ask you for suggestions..
But wen u open ur mouth..
He talks hell lot of stuff you make you regret even saying a "yar"
Totally unhygienic boss..
asks you to do things..
easy for him..
damn bloody tough for u..
and walks away..
not intending to help you..
every single say talk about trust trust trust..
and u dun see the shit coming out from him..
Forget it..
Although i hate him to the core..
But i choose to forgive..
dun bear grudges..
if not will end up like him..
naggy old man..
Oh.. sorry.. EXTREMELY NAGGY..
Watch tv..
showed how loved ones, fwends..
Stay by someone..
Who has a terminal illness..
My goodness..
Touching, touching..
But snap back to reality..
How true is tat?
Lets say one day..
I told a few fwends tat i am terminally ill..
example only..
How would they react?
Pity me?
hmmmm..
i wouldn't want tat la..
But is like..
How much fwends over the hundreds tat you have..
would actually stay by you..
go out wif u..
although bcoz of ur illness..
u look like shit.. shagged out..
visit u in the hospital wen ur condition worsen?
Be at ur funeral everyday?
will remember you in their hearts even ten years down the road..
in loving memory..
sounds nice..
hmmm..
Wenever at the lowest of my life..
There isn't any physical person by me..
I noe god's around..
But maybe god wants to gimme someone..
tat i can be extremely happy wen i am wif her?
like there is only the 2 of us?
maybe impossible..
One of tis days..
I may wanna ask a fwend out to the beach..
make her hear my scream all my frustrations out!
I really wanna scream..
Habben done tat in ages..
abit paiseh oso..
abit retard..
wat to do?
Best method to let all the unhappiness out..
Some thinking questions..
What would you do if every time you fell in love with someone you had to say good-bye?
Letting someone you love go..
seriously is painful..
Jealousy grips u if u see her wif someone else..
you care so much about her..
and u wanna noe wat she is doing every moment..
Goodbye would most probably be the hardest word..
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
Never had..
Never will..
Always hear from ppl tat..
"yar.. i will be there for you.."
wat does tis phrase actually mean?
i dun even noe the defination..
most of the time in life..
during the most down part of ur life..
we always see one set of footprints..
we noe tat god would carry us..
but indeed we are humans..
we need to see a being..
beside us..
But the other set of footprints has never been there..
What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness?
Let the happy moments be happy..
The sad ones to be sad..
Be happy tat you still have one moment to be happy..
not all 11 of them are sad..
I do treasure happy moments..
sentimental person..
sad moments..
will think of it sometimes..
then feel so sad..
but eventually will forget oso..
What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt?
Best fwend of mine..
Went overseas training..
I couldn't imagine wat will happen if smth happens..
but i hope nothing happens..
incident happened to someone i knew..
but wasn't close..
just gone lydat..
same overseas training..
tats why i do hope ppl can come back safely..
back to their loved ones..
if not..
their loved ones would be the ppl..
tat will be suffering..
crying..
lots of tears..
Lots of misses..
What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else and you could never have them?
Situations sounds similar..
familiar..
current stand..
couldn't really forget her ever since..
maybe we have moved on..
but inside of me..
there is some part still left for her..
i dunno how to explain..
dunno how to tell her..
i would be delighted if there is a possibility of settling down..
but due to different beliefs..
haix..
1st sign..
being wif her..
seriously..
i do feel happier..
things wun like stop around us..
i will wish tat time would stop for us..
not only talking to her..
but maybe her influencial presence..
make me feel..
more relax..
happier..
more myself..
i can tell her anything..
but lets think..
maybe she is just so kind enuff to be there to listen?
maybe she has totally no intentions of going further than tat?
possible..
I do hope things can go better..
For now..
If i need a shoulder..
it would be hers..
ideal..
need someone to talk to..
it would be her..
ideal person to bring to the seaside and hear me scream..
coz i noe i can unglam in front of her..
pour out all my sorrows..

Labels: Dun allow ppl who loved u have permanent regrets all their life..